Ah independence day, the day the declaration of independence was signed, two-hundred and thirty-three years ago from today. Our forefathers fought and died to separate the American colonies from England, and to become our own glorified country. Now, we have BBQs to remember our independence and have fireworks at night to remember the cannon fire that made it possible.
Show off your patriotism by getting drunk having fun. All is fun and dandy when you don’t remember what you’ve done (or who you did it with), until aliens show up. I don’t think we can really take on an alien invasion… unless the aliens turn out to be midgets. I mean come on, we can’t even stop illegal aliens (immigration).
Anyway, enjoy the holiday. We’ve earned it!